Commonly Asked Questions
Would you like to read more about aspects of our services? This is the place! We've put together this reference area based on the questions we are often asked. Please browse our main articles below and archived articles below right.
Are you caught in the addict’s spiral? Does this sound familiar?
You’ve been promised over and over again that this will be the last time you need to:
- lend money
- call the boss to excuse an absence
- fix a legal problem
- make excuses for his/her behavior
- lie about the alcohol or drug use
- assume family responsibilities
Have you been rescuing your addict over and over again without seeing any positive changes? Are you exhausted by your efforts to “fix” the problem? Do you feel like you’re banging your head against a wall? Maybe a different approach is in order?
Families of addicts often find themselves involved in efforts to try to “fix” their loved one by doing these types of things repeatedly. These are normal family responses to a problem within the family. Imagine a family member has broken their leg. While recuperating the family gives special attention and treatment to this person. Help getting to the doctor’s office, maybe a loan while they are unable to work. The injury is short lived, the person heals and gets back in the swing of life and the family no longer needs to provide those special attentions. Families usually apply the same principles to their addict when the addict starts experiencing some of the negative consequences of their addiction. Families can get drawn into the addiction spiral and repeat the same series of actions but find nothing changes. What many do not realize is that these “helping” efforts can actually prevent the addict from seeing the reality of their situation and the need to change. In the language of Al-Anon these actions could be called enabling. Enabling shields the addict from the natural consequences of their behavior. If jobs are lost due to the addiction yet the family constantly lends money …why should the addict change? How will they be able to recognize the impact of their addiction if every time there is a problem someone takes care of it?
We have helped many families take a step back, look at what they’ve been doing in the past, get professional input and craft a better direction for their energy. Maybe an Intervention is needed? Maybe the family needs to agree on a unified approach? Al-Anon self help groups can provide support while learning new ways to respond. We are here to help you and your family turn your efforts into more productive actions. Remember: if nothing changes …. nothing changes. Please call or email us for a confidential appointment to discuss your concerns.
Archived Articles
- What is an Intervention?
Families call and ask us what they can do to urge a loved one to seek help for an alcohol or drug problem. They often relate stories about... more
- Tell me more about a Substance Abuse Assessment
A Substance Abuse Assessment is completed in a confidential, personal interview of one to two hours in length. The results... more
- Alcohol and Seniors
Do you know that the response to drinking alcohol can change as we grow older? We have all seen the recent articles on the health benefits of... more
- Oh those Medicaid Applications! Oh the Disability Application!
How about the Virginia Medicaid application... 14 pages at last count. Social Security Disability Applications that grow additional forms after... more
- What is “coordination of care” and why is it important?
In the medical system the term “coordination of care” refers to the way medical providers SHOULD share information about your medical care with one another. This is a cooperative... more
- I’ve tried to stop drinking on my own, again and again. How can I get help to stop for good?
When we hear this our first recommendation is a thorough assessment. There is no easy recipe that fits everyone. What and how much do you drink, how often... more
- Alcohol and Women, more dangerous than you may think.
Alcohol affects women differently than men. Heavy drinking is MUCH more risky for women. Women absorb and metabolize alcohol in a ... more
- Sexual Addiction
My first exposure to the concept of sexual addiction occurred several years ago, when I was working with a recovering alcoholic. He explained... more
- Compulsive Gambling
Like any other compulsive disorder, gambling shares the same escalation in risk taking. The gambler gets hooked on the the way he feels after... more
- Just what is considered trauma? And how does it apply to PTSD (Posttraumatic Stress Disorder)?
Today, a trauma is defined as whatever an individual considers to be traumatic. In other words, it doesn’t have to be a hurricane, a flood, or an automobile accident. It is now defined as... more
- How do I know if it’s a good treatment program?
Medical Advocates of Virginia provides consultation services to professionals and families seeking appropriate treatment referrals for substance abuse, eating disorders... more